So Long

I've decided that between working and spending time with Nate I don't have much time for two blogs. As you can see I rarely update my other blog and this one has been completely neglected. I'm going to start blogging again on Nate and Courtney but soon this blog will be gone. I'm just waiting to get it printed out and then I'm deleting it.

That is all, continue on...

Day 20!

So to commence "Bucket #1: 20 Days of Gratitude," I share with you...

DAY 20

Throughout my time as a nanny I have had several tender experiences with those sweet little kids. Some of the most precious moments have come as I rock the twins or Janna at nap time. From one of these experiences came the perfect topic to end my bucket of gratitude.

A few days ago as Janna woke from her nap she wanted me to rock her. This isn't a norm but that day I just couldn't resist scooping up that little 4 year old and sharing a few minutes of peace and quiet. As I rocked Janna I felt an overwhelming love for her. I started to think of how close I was to this family. In just a year I had grown to love these three as if they were my own. I started to well up with tears as I thought of how one day this job will end and I will say goodbye. When I leave as their nanny that will be the end, nothing else bonds us together.

Because of that I gained a deeper graditude for eternal families. Come what may in this life, I have no need to fear. Nate and I have been sealed by the proper authority and as long as we are keeping the commandments we will be together forever. One day when we have babies we have the promise that regardless of their time on earth they will be ours forever. When we lose a loved one we grieve, but we have hope because it is only a short time before we will see them again.

Second only to the Savior, I am most grateful for my family. My grandparents created a home centered on the Savior, because of them I have the gospel. I have good parents who both have qualities I hope to acquire over time. My syblings and cousins are my closest friends, people I love and admire. I have married my best friend and I thank my lucky stars that he is the patriarch of our little kingdom. I'm grateful that there are little ones waiting to join our family, little ones that love us despite seeing all of our imperfections.

So to my family, I love you very much! Thanks for being you!

(Stay tuned for Bucket #2, I promise it's going to be a good one, and I'm going to do it daily!)

Day 19

I have many things to be grateful for, especially at this time in my life.
I started Court's Thought Bucket as a daily reminder to be grateful for all that I have.
Well as you've probably noticed, daily post have been few and far between.
So in a way I must confess it has failed in helping me be grateful on a daily basis,
I've learned to be grateful in a more private way.
Though there was a time when rereading my own words became a reminder of all that is important, a reminder I needed at that time.
We often keep a record for others, either those around us or those who will come after us. I've quickly learned that maybe the person who benefits most from keeping a journal or blog is the author themselves. A journal is a reminder of our hopes, dreams and goals for this life. Don't write in it once, never to read those pages again, because you may be missing out on great insight from someone who knows you pretty well.
So today I'm grateful for keeping a record. If we let it, it can be a reminder of our greatest self when we feel our lowest.
Hopefully after it has helped us it can be an inspiration to others who come after us.

Day 18

Today I'm grateful for work. I'm grateful that both Nate and I have full time jobs in this down economy. I'm grateful that we both have jobs that we enjoy, for employers who treat us well. I'm grateful for the sense of worth that is gained through working. Along with being grateful for work, I'm grateful that there is end in sight, in the near future I will have a place to call my own. As grateful as I am that we are going to be moving out of my in-laws soon I'm even more grateful for the kindness they've shown to us as we have lived here for the past way too long. They are saints for letting us live here and invade their everyday space. So along with being grateful for work, I'm grateful that we both come from such caring families...

Hope all is well, until next time,

Toodles!

Day 17

May 13th, 1985

I was chillin up in heaven waiting for my turn to grace this Earth with my presence.

Meanwhile my little lover muffin was making his grand entrance into this world.

Yes friends and family today Nate turned old, AKA 24. (Ok so maybe that's not old, but it's sure fun to tease him)

So today I'm grateful for him, again. This time there's no poem; just a grateful little wife.

Nate makes my life fabulous. He is my happy thoughts and I love him to pieces. I'm one lucky duck to have him in my life. We just keep falling more in love, and that is the most fantastic thing in the world. 

Day 16

Humility

reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission

I started this blog 4 months ago and I'm on day 16, hmm, figure that one out.

I have plenty to be grateful for, I promise.

I'm just a blog-slacker.

Not to be confused with blog-stalker.

(maybe I'm a bit guilty there too, I like to read random blogs.)

Thanks for sticking with me.

Have you ever had one of those "pity me, poor me" days where you just feel sad for yourself? You are completely irritated, frustrated or depressed all day and no one really wants to be around you. I'm not going to lie I've had a day or two like that, yes, I'm human and that seems to be one of my flaws.

I encountered this situation a few weeks ago but something interesting happened...

Now I'm going to insert a warning of sorts. This doesn't start out as the most uplifting story, but it gets better, I promise. I'm also admitting one of my trials in life, not something that I'm proud of.

That's why I'm here though, to improve and grow. So please be understanding...

I was sitting around thinking of all the things I had to be bummed about, listing them one by one. I then continued on to the people I wanted to be frustrated with, convinced they were to blame. I'm sure it was a sight to see, me sitting there mumbling under my breath, fighting between tears and anger, pathetically wallowing in self pity.

Then it happened.

My mind drew a complete blank, as if my thoughts were whisped away to some distant place. I was forced to realize that I was sitting there, a complete mess, with no excuse as to why I was holding a pity party. I quickly cleaned myself up just glad no one saw. Then this thought planted itself right in the center of all my other thoughts, "No, someone saw you, they watched the whole thing." As if a lightning bolt hit me, I was frozen, completely overcome with shame, mad at myself for being so ungrateful. My tears started again, but this time for a different reason. What happened next was a tender moment, I had a long conversation with my Heavenly Father and asked Him to humble me, help me to be more grateful.

If I've learned anything in my life, I know my Heavenly Father answers prayers. This time was no exception and this time He taught me several valuable lessons through people around me. Since my pity party I've been humbled on several occassions with other's situations that are less than desirable, situations that make me very grateful for blessings in my life. I've been more aware of people around me and have tried to help others. I'm convinced when you serve others all personal troubles seem to disappear. I'm learning that no one is exempt from the trials and difficulties of life.

Though I'm far from being humble on my own, I'm getting closer, and I've become a little more grateful for humility. I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father is patient with me and continously teaches me, strengthening my several weaknesses. 

Day 15

Today I'm grateful for beauty. 

Go look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. If you can't convince yourself of it, say it for me because I think you are beautiful. Value yourself and realize that you are an image of perfection. You were made so carefully by a loving Heavenly Father and He thinks of you as one of His greatest creations. He has blessed you with a beautiful body, be grateful for it. 

Forget about the flaws you are so quick to find and be happy with you. Ignore the bumps, bruises and scars because they are only present for a short while. There is nothing that can take away your beauty; no, not a thing. Whatever physical trials you may face, just remember you are still beautiful, you are a daughter of God.

Yes, you are beautiful!