Court's Thought Bucket

So Long

2010-08-29T21:55:00.000-07:00

I've decided that between working and spending time with Nate I don't have much time for two blogs. As you can see I rarely update my other blog and this one has been completely neglected. I'm going to start blogging again on Nate and Courtney but soon this blog will be gone. I'm just waiting to get it printed out and then I'm deleting it.

That is all, continue on...

Day 20!

2010-03-29T19:04:00.000-07:00

So to commence "Bucket #1: 20 Days of Gratitude," I share with you...

DAY 20

Throughout my time as a nanny I have had several tender experiences with those sweet little kids. Some of the most precious moments have come as I rock the twins or Janna at nap time. From one of these experiences came the perfect topic to end my bucket of gratitude.

A few days ago as Janna woke from her nap she wanted me to rock her. This isn't a norm but that day I just couldn't resist scooping up that little 4 year old and sharing a few minutes of peace and quiet. As I rocked Janna I felt an overwhelming love for her. I started to think of how close I was to this family. In just a year I had grown to love these three as if they were my own. I started to well up with tears as I thought of how one day this job will end and I will say goodbye. When I leave as their nanny that will be the end, nothing else bonds us together.

Because of that I gained a deeper graditude for eternal families. Come what may in this life, I have no need to fear. Nate and I have been sealed by the proper authority and as long as we are keeping the commandments we will be together forever. One day when we have babies we have the promise that regardless of their time on earth they will be ours forever. When we lose a loved one we grieve, but we have hope because it is only a short time before we will see them again.

Second only to the Savior, I am most grateful for my family. My grandparents created a home centered on the Savior, because of them I have the gospel. I have good parents who both have qualities I hope to acquire over time. My syblings and cousins are my closest friends, people I love and admire. I have married my best friend and I thank my lucky stars that he is the patriarch of our little kingdom. I'm grateful that there are little ones waiting to join our family, little ones that love us despite seeing all of our imperfections.

So to my family, I love you very much! Thanks for being you!

(Stay tuned for Bucket #2, I promise it's going to be a good one, and I'm going to do it daily!)

Day 19

2009-10-16T22:39:00.001-07:00

I have many things to be grateful for, especially at this time in my life.
I started Court's Thought Bucket as a daily reminder to be grateful for all that I have.
Well as you've probably noticed, daily post have been few and far between.
So in a way I must confess it has failed in helping me be grateful on a daily basis,
I've learned to be grateful in a more private way.
Though there was a time when rereading my own words became a reminder of all that is important, a reminder I needed at that time.
We often keep a record for others, either those around us or those who will come after us. I've quickly learned that maybe the person who benefits most from keeping a journal or blog is the author themselves. A journal is a reminder of our hopes, dreams and goals for this life. Don't write in it once, never to read those pages again, because you may be missing out on great insight from someone who knows you pretty well.
So today I'm grateful for keeping a record. If we let it, it can be a reminder of our greatest self when we feel our lowest.
Hopefully after it has helped us it can be an inspiration to others who come after us.

Day 18

2009-05-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

Today I'm grateful for work. I'm grateful that both Nate and I have full time jobs in this down economy. I'm grateful that we both have jobs that we enjoy, for employers who treat us well. I'm grateful for the sense of worth that is gained through working. Along with being grateful for work, I'm grateful that there is end in sight, in the near future I will have a place to call my own. As grateful as I am that we are going to be moving out of my in-laws soon I'm even more grateful for the kindness they've shown to us as we have lived here for the past way too long. They are saints for letting us live here and invade their everyday space. So along with being grateful for work, I'm grateful that we both come from such caring families...

Hope all is well, until next time,

Toodles!

Day 17

2009-05-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

May 13th, 1985

I was chillin up in heaven waiting for my turn to grace this Earth with my presence.

Meanwhile my little lover muffin was making his grand entrance into this world.

Yes friends and family today Nate turned old, AKA 24. (Ok so maybe that's not old, but it's sure fun to tease him)

So today I'm grateful for him, again. This time there's no poem; just a grateful little wife.

Nate makes my life fabulous. He is my happy thoughts and I love him to pieces. I'm one lucky duck to have him in my life. We just keep falling more in love, and that is the most fantastic thing in the world.

Day 16

2009-02-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

Humility

reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission

I started this blog 4 months ago and I'm on day 16, hmm, figure that one out.

I have plenty to be grateful for, I promise.

I'm just a blog-slacker.

Not to be confused with blog-stalker.

(maybe I'm a bit guilty there too, I like to read random blogs.)

Thanks for sticking with me.

Have you ever had one of those "pity me, poor me" days where you just feel sad for yourself? You are completely irritated, frustrated or depressed all day and no one really wants to be around you. I'm not going to lie I've had a day or two like that, yes, I'm human and that seems to be one of my flaws.

I encountered this situation a few weeks ago but something interesting happened...

Now I'm going to insert a warning of sorts. This doesn't start out as the most uplifting story, but it gets better, I promise. I'm also admitting one of my trials in life, not something that I'm proud of.

That's why I'm here though, to improve and grow. So please be understanding...

I was sitting around thinking of all the things I had to be bummed about, listing them one by one. I then continued on to the people I wanted to be frustrated with, convinced they were to blame. I'm sure it was a sight to see, me sitting there mumbling under my breath, fighting between tears and anger, pathetically wallowing in self pity.

Then it happened.

My mind drew a complete blank, as if my thoughts were whisped away to some distant place. I was forced to realize that I was sitting there, a complete mess, with no excuse as to why I was holding a pity party. I quickly cleaned myself up just glad no one saw. Then this thought planted itself right in the center of all my other thoughts, "No, someone saw you, they watched the whole thing." As if a lightning bolt hit me, I was frozen, completely overcome with shame, mad at myself for being so ungrateful. My tears started again, but this time for a different reason. What happened next was a tender moment, I had a long conversation with my Heavenly Father and asked Him to humble me, help me to be more grateful.

If I've learned anything in my life, I know my Heavenly Father answers prayers. This time was no exception and this time He taught me several valuable lessons through people around me. Since my pity party I've been humbled on several occassions with other's situations that are less than desirable, situations that make me very grateful for blessings in my life. I've been more aware of people around me and have tried to help others. I'm convinced when you serve others all personal troubles seem to disappear. I'm learning that no one is exempt from the trials and difficulties of life.

Though I'm far from being humble on my own, I'm getting closer, and I've become a little more grateful for humility. I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father is patient with me and continously teaches me, strengthening my several weaknesses.

Day 15

2009-01-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

Today I'm grateful for beauty.

Go look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. If you can't convince yourself of it, say it for me because I think you are beautiful. Value yourself and realize that you are an image of perfection. You were made so carefully by a loving Heavenly Father and He thinks of you as one of His greatest creations. He has blessed you with a beautiful body, be grateful for it.

Forget about the flaws you are so quick to find and be happy with you. Ignore the bumps, bruises and scars because they are only present for a short while. There is nothing that can take away your beauty; no, not a thing. Whatever physical trials you may face, just remember you are still beautiful, you are a daughter of God.

Yes, you are beautiful!

Day 14

2009-01-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

Today I'm grateful for forgiveness.

The forgiveness that comes from a loving Savior who wants us to succeed but understands that there are times we slip up. Being an imperfect human is tough stuff on occasion. I'm thankful for a Savior who understands all of our sorrows and imperfections. I'm grateful for the healing power that comes from allowing Him to take our burdens and forgive our trespasses.

Everyday I'm grateful for forgiveness.

Day 13

2009-01-20T13:05:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I've neglected this blog.
Not on purpose and not with good excuse, just because.
I'm hoping that maybe I can finish my 20 days of gratitude before 2010 comes around
BUT
don't hold your breath.

So this brings me to day 13. Supposedly 13 can be a very unlucky number but I'm here to tell you that's wrong. I have a good feeling about day 13. In fact Nate and I were both born on the 13th day of the month, now that's lucky. But that's just a side note.

Work,
Yes folks I'm grateful for work.
Have you ever noticed how work gives you a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of self worth, a little tidbit of pride?

Nate and I have had a hard time finding full time work. Recently we have been doing some part time work at a call center. It's only a few hours a day and it's really simple work but it feels so good to get up and be productive during the day.

It is true that you don't gain appreciation for something until it is gone. At a time when work is hard to come by I find myself very grateful for every little hour of work we are able to find.

Day 12

2009-01-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that as you study scriptures there are precious moments when you read a verse that is "speaking" to you? I have grown to love the scriptures, and all the knowledge within those pages. Anything of real importance is contained in those sweet words of the scriptures. It truly is a map leading back to our Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful that as I study and pray for understanding the scriptures have become one of my prized possessions. I am in awe of the tools Heavenly Father has given us to help us return to Him.

Day 11

2008-12-22T21:09:00.000-08:00

As a youngster I always looked forward to spending time with my cousins. One G-maism that all of us cousins know by heart is the "cousin talk." Anytime us cousins would bicker G-ma would be quick to remind us of the importance of loving our family.

It is in those lessons us cousins found some of our greatest friendships. Today I find myself grateful for the friendships I have with my cousins. It doesn't matter the age difference or how many miles may separate us my cousins are some of my best friends. Immense beauty, great wisdom, precious laughs, tender spiritual moments... each cousin amazing in their own way. I couldn't have been blessed with a better family.

I'm grateful for my cousin Cassie because lets face it, Cassie is the most loyal friend any girl could ask for. My admiration for Cassie is deep, she has been a guiding light in my life, she's just so good. Cassie's heart is made of gold, she truly reflects the Savior in all that she does. Along with all the tender moments, Cassie and I have our plethora of laughs. I couldn't have asked for a better friend through high school. Cas, I love you to pieces!!

Amber is the fun loving big sister that I never had. It has been so fun to have Amber here in Idaho. I cherish the several times Amber has just let me vent and then by chance she says exactly what I need to hear. Thanks doll!!

One of the greatest treasures that came out of Baltimore was getting to spend so much time with Becky. This girl definitely belongs in our family. I have never heard Becky utter a mean word about anyone, she is so kind. We had so much watching our tv shows, cooking, grocery shopping, it was just a ton of fun with Becky. I'm so thankful that I was able to have Becky as my escort through the temple. It was a special experience and I'm glad she was there for it. You are so amazing!!

Teri is another cousin that without a doubt belongs in our family. She is gorgeous both inside and out. She is such a good example as a mother and a wife. You know by her actions her family is her most prized possession. I'm glad we have grown closer over the past while!!

Another cousin that has been added to our family by marriage is Jessica. She's another that fits perfect with all of us cousins. She is such a strong women. Whenever I am around Jessica we always have a fun time. She is another who is a great mother. You can see that her children are her world. Thanks for being a good example to me!!

Jill and I use to be inseparable as kiddos. I thought of Jill as my big sister. I was so excited to move to Idaho because I was closer to Jill. Jill was my saving grace throughout high school. Our conversations in her car in my driveway always left me feeling better about whatever situation I was in. I admired Jill growing up and admire the beautiful woman she is now. Your influence will forever be part of me!!

Love you all!!

Day 10

2008-12-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

Today I'm grateful for blessings. You know the one's that just show up at the exact time you need them. There's no doubt that a loving Heavenly Father is watching over us, always there to help. I'm learning patience, I'm learning faith, I'm learning that things happen according to the Lord's time table, I'm learning there is never a need to fear if you put faith in Him.

Day 9

2008-11-27T01:04:00.000-08:00

It would be silly to have a blog of gratitude and not write anything on the day of all thanks...

And so today I find myself especially grateful for the necessities of life. I will never be able to fully grasp the struggle of the early pilgrims as they arrived to this land. I admire their strength and faith yet I lack the ability to relate because I've never had to go without.

I am so quick to forget that many of the blessings I have are things that I don't think twice about on a daily basis. I'm thankful that I have been placed in circumstances where I've never missed out on a meal, I've never lacked a warm place to sleep, and I've always had clothes to keep me warm. Yes it is those things I need to appreciate more, for there are many who go without.

So tonight when you climb into your warm bed, or as you fill your stomach with all those delicious holiday dishes I hope you take a moment to really treasure just how blessed you are. Happy Thanksgiving!

Day 8

2008-11-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for the little things that just make life so great!

I love that every morning I wake up all giddy because my handsome husband is at my side.

I love to see Goliath do his happy wag, he gets so excited his little body can't keep up with his anxious tail and he hops up and down until someone acknowledges him.

I love when the sun shines through our skylight in the bathroom, it's like a little kiss of heaven.

I love to savor the feeling of peace during prayers before the craziness of the day kicks in.

I love the random phone calls from family or friends, just to say hi.

I love to hear my girly songs on the radio and rock out like I'm in high school again, it makes my heart happy.

I love seeing the final result after getting all dolled up each morning, it does great things for a girl's confidence.

I love to admire each new day as if the Creator has painted a new canvas just outside my door.

I love it when my ears are treated to the sound of a little child's laughter, it's one of the sweetest sounds.

I love the comfy feeling of climbing under the covers each night.

I love that each night I uncover a scripture that just happens to relate to the happenings of my life.

I love Nate's gentle kisses each night before bed.

On a daily basis I have several little thinks to be grateful for, what are some of the little things you treasure most?

Day 7

2008-11-12T20:26:00.001-08:00

Man's greatest friend is the dog, a girl's greatest friend is a sister; especially if that sister is Tayter-Tot. Since the day Tay was born she has been one of my best friends. We just have a special bond, and it seems as we get older we just seem to get closer.

Because Tay towers over me we joke that she is my "big" little sister. There are lots of things I love about my little sis, here are a few...

Tay has a way of lighting up the room with her corky sense of humor. Her smile is one of a kind and her laugh is contagious. Taylor has many talents and really tries hard to be the best at whatever she is doing. Anyone who has met Tay knows that she is really beautiful both inside and out. Taylor has a tender heart and is such a good big sis to our little brother Tommy. The thing I love most about Tay is her trust and loyalty as a best friend. We can talk to each other about anything. I love our little late night ice cream runs where we have our conversations full of sister secrets. Really I was given the best little sister out there. I'm so grateful for my Tayter!

Day 6

2008-11-06T20:02:00.000-08:00

“You need His help, and you know that you need His help. You cannot do it alone. You will come to realize that and recognize that more and more as the years pass. So live that in good conscience you can speak with the Lord. Get on your knees and thank Him for His goodness to you and express to Him the righteous desires of your hearts. The miracle of it all is that He hears. He responds. He answers--not always as we might wish He would answer, but there is no question in my mind that He answers.”

Gordon B. Hinckley

Today was just one of those days... I like to think of them as human days, let me explain. We knew in the pre-mortal life that our time on Earth wasn't going to be a breeze. We understood that this life was a time to be tested and tried, and willingly we accepted to come. Each one of us agreed because we had a full understanding of the great blessings that would come after Earth life, and so we are here.

Unfortunately because I am imperfect and human there are days like today where I completely lose focus of the blessings ahead. I allow the fears, frustrations and stresses of now to completely envelop me and I find myself homesick, distant from a place I once knew. Just as a homesick college student clings to their phone as a lifeline to home, I know that my Heavenly Father is just a prayer away.

Days like today I'm especially grateful for the power of prayer. I know that the Savior has a complete understanding of my worrisome heart. I'm grateful that through prayer my weaknesses are strengthened. It has never failed that after I turn to my Heavenly Father in prayer I find great peace and comfort. It is during those heartfelt prayers that I feel closest to home. I know that He is not far, always watching over, ready to catch me as I stumble back to Him.

Day 5

2008-11-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

Seeing that today is Election Day I felt that nothing would be better to add to my gratitude list than my country. More specifically I'm grateful for our flag and all that it represents. This past summer I gained a much deeper appreciation for our flag.

Now this story begins on July 4th while Nate and I still lived in Baltimore. We decided we wanted to spend the day in Annapolis and watch the fireworks over the harbor. Since we were going to be there anyway we decided we would also watch the parade. To be honest I went with high expectations for Annapolis' parade and left very disappointed. Sitting in the rain we watched as candidates and clubs rolled by in their sports or antique cars. We also listened to the endless sirens of police vehicles and fire trucks. And then came the great American Flag. Without much thought I stood to honor our flag just as I had been taught.

Nothing disappointed me more than to see several of the people paying little or no respect to our flag. Many just sat idle as the flag passed by in all of its majesty. As a small tear welled up in my eye I realized how precious our flag really is. Thread by thread each sacrifice made for this country is represented. It is sad to see how our country has lost that respect and honor for such a symbol. As I stood there I heard an older man remark, "My grandfather would be so upset to see such disrespect." As the words echo in my ear I can just imagine how embarrassed the Founding Fathers must be as we casually take our freedoms for granted. Many of our freedoms are those we do not even realize, these are some of the most important to me:

The freedom to worship God the Almighty in whichever way I choose

The freedom to vote

The freedom to stand up for what I believe in

The freedom that comes from education

The freedom to watch, listen to, and read whatever I please

The freedom that comes from knowing I am protected by men and women willing to sacrifice their lives

The freedom of expression in my appearance

The freedom of equality for both men and women

And I'm certain there are many others that have not come to mind, but most of all I'm grateful for my country, The United States of America and all the blessings that come from living here.

Day 4

2008-10-29T15:17:00.001-07:00

Time is not sufficient for you and me

Unless it includes eternity

Wandering through this life alone

I found the place I feel most at home

Your ability to listen, your loving hand

You always seem to understand

Although I have some work to do

You are patient as I grow with you

It may be hard, but all the while

You have a way to make me smile

There's nothing greater in this world

Then our love as boy and girl

Not money, riches, or things of gold

Are as precious as the priesthood you hold

I've never had such a friend

You'll be with me through the end

Dearest Nate know this is true

My greatest blessing is definitely you

Day 3

2008-10-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

Above all else I know that I am a daughter of God. This simple statement has been a blessing through out my life. As I grow these few words find deeper meaning within my heart. There is no greater privilege than to be a princess of the most high courts. The simple statement "I am a Child of God" has turned from lyrics to identity. I understand that because He calls me His I have great blessings of which I cannot comprehend. My potential as a daughter of my Heavenly Father is eternal, everlasting. I am grateful to know that just as I was blessed with a loving, caring earthly father I also have a Heavenly Father who is interested in all that I do. Although I do not fully understand the love He has for me, I know that it is great as I see the many blessings that are from Him. I value the precious moments when I kneel in prayer and feel His love envelop me. It is in those still moments that I have a glimpse of the great peace that awaits us in the next life as we return to our loving Heavenly Father. Know that you too are a child of God and He yearns for you to return to Him. Turn to Him and you will soon understand why this simple phrase has such an influence in my life.

Blog Hiatus

2008-10-14T00:35:00.001-07:00

For all of my faithful readers (thanks Gma and Terri) I'm sorry that I haven't been updating on a daily basis. Most likely, and without good excuse, my 20 days of gratitude will probably take a 100 days to complete, but have no fear it will be finished sooner or later.

Unfortunately I'm having a blogging brain block. It's not that I don't have lots to be grateful for but my little amount of writing ability has seemed to flutter out the window. Give me a few days and I'll go hunt it down and continue on my quest for a grateful heart. It seems the minute I try to type something it comes out a jumbled mess of words... no one wants that.

Soon to return,

Day 2

2008-10-10T16:08:00.000-07:00

Although it is small and simple I am so grateful for the testimony that I have of Jesus Christ. I know Him as my closest friend, my elder brother, my comforter, my teacher, my advocate, My Savior. Without Him I am nothing, He gives strength to my weakness. I see myself in this picture, knowing that the Savior has a perfect love for me, always wanting to be at my side. I know He Lives and great will be the day when I can kneel at His feet and thank Him for all that He has given me. I put all faith and hope in Him for He is the way back to my Father in Heaven. There is no problem or heart break that He cannot heal, He is my place of peace. I strive to be more like Him each day, I desire to serve others just as He did. I know that nothing will bring greater blessings than to be an instrument in His hands. Words cannot convey the deep love and gratitude I have for my Savior.

Day 1

2008-10-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

It doesn't seem to long ago that I sat on my grandma's lap as alligator tears streamed down my face. My week long stay had come to an end and I had to go home. It never failed, regardless of my age, that the moment I had to be seperated from my grandma I felt a deep sadness, a small heartbreak. I can hear her gentle whisper as she promised that I would see her again soon and that her love was never far from where I was.

It is my Grandma's loving tender heart and my Grandpa's wisdom that compelled me to chose them as my first focus of gratitude. My simple vocabulary and struggle with words could never express the great love and appreciation I have for my Grandparents. They truly emulate the Savior with their compassionate hearts and willingness to serve in any way possible. There is no other who has a greater love for their family. It is a blessing to have been raised with Grandparents who stressed the importance of family. It never fails that my Grandparents have the perfect advice to sooth a troubled heart. My Gma & Gpa are in love with one another completely, they are examples of sacrifice and obedience to the commandments. It is from my Grandparents that I learned to love the temple. One of the greatest days was to attend the temple with my Grandparents, to know that we will be together forever.

Thanks Gma & Gpa for the great influence you have been in my life, I love you both LOTS!!

Blog Bucket #1: 20 days of gratitude

2008-10-06T22:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first post of Courtney's ramblings. I'm sorry you have stumbled upon my thoughts (sometimes it's a scary thing ;)). I've decided that my first bucket will be filled with 20 specific things that I am grateful for. For the next twenty days I will list those things in my life that are most precious, things I would be miserable without. I do this in hopes that by the end of my twenty days I will be filled with more gratitude and appreciation for all the my Father in Heaven has blessed me with. Hope you enjoy, see you tomorrow!